There is a common challenge for many single ladies in my community: how to create a deep connection in relationship?
A lady just told me her biggest challenge in relationship: “It’s hard to stay in a relationship. There is always something wrong about the other person. I am not sure how to stay connected”
As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. No one wants to have a superficial and shallow relationship.
Here is the truth: the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.
If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire.
So it’s not always something wrong about the other person. It’s you who can’t be deeply connect to yourself. By mirror effect, you attracted same type of people into your life!
So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working?
A client of mine was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out their relationship is just based on sex and some moment of romance, but there was no deep level of longing and connection.
She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him.
She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing, so she can feel safe to trust men and develop the deep connection.
So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want?
First, you must get some insight. Look into your past experience and answer these questions, honestly:
- Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values?
- Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?
- Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?
- Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations?
- Do you try to change who you are to appease others?
- Do you have a hard time trusting others?
- Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?
- Do you push people away before they can get close?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.
If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.
Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship.
Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it.
You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal.
Doing the Heart work is about healing and bringing that piece back.
Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?
Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?
If so, I’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we’re blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it.
Much love,
PS; Want to learn more about relationship wisdom? I invite you to head on over to my Facebook private group!
Who in your life needs this advice?
Brighten her day by forwarding her this email now….