“The Art of Flirting” in Dating

In dating, there is a unique “dance” between men and women. Men pursue, and women flirt.

When I use the word “flirt,” some people might associate it with a negative image. It sometimes manifests into an image of women making straightforward sexual advances towards men while on a date. This is NOT the flirting that I mean when I use the term “The Art of Flirting.”


What I want to focus on is the attitude, the energy, and the mindset behind flirting.

Let me use an analogy.

What do you do when you go shopping?

When you go shopping, you walk around the store and look at all the products. You have fun checking out what you like and what you don’t like. You have no need to prove yourself to the salesperson on what you should buy or why. You freely try things on with no obligation to commit. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to buy it. And, you have the freedom to look at other stores.

This is the perfect mindset and attitude when you go on a date. And it is the ideal and positive energy you should use when flirting. Flirting power says, “I am looking and liking what I see. I would like to get to know more about you.”

This flirting energy is stimulating to men because it compliments their ability to make you happy.  A man is always looking for the opportunity to add to a woman’s happiness, especially if he is interested in her.

To create a relationship, a woman must be careful not to pursue a man but to be responsive to his pursuit.

This kind of receptiveness and responsiveness is expressed through flirting. When a woman flirts with a man, she is merely interacting in a manner that conveys the feeling that maybe he could be the man to make her happy. He could be that great guy she has been looking for her whole life. Perhaps he is the one she would want to share an exceptional time with. Or, he could be exciting or fun while sharing activities and outings together.

When you are in a place of openness, it encourages men to pursue you. Pursuing energy is “doing” energy… “I could be the one to make you happy. Check me out. Talk to me and tell me what you like. Look what I have done and what I can do.” Men who are interested do their best to impress you. It’s fun for them, but also make you feel good.

Remember, as a woman, your job is NOT to impress. Your job is to maintain a place of openness sending the energy, “I am open to finding out if I like you. If you are the one for me, then show it and impress me.” Always let the man be the one to impress you.

There are 12 ways to flirt in dating. There are “dos” and “don’ts” of flirting. If you are interested in learning how to flirt on a practical level send me an email at xiaoli@xiaolimeicoaching.com  or Schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session HERE.

Let’s have a quick chat and learn how flirting can be a way to bring some fun into dating.

PS; Want to learn more about dating & relationship wisdom? I invite you to head on over to my Facebook private group!


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