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How Much Mothering Energy in Your Intimate Relationship?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is the special time of year when you get to celebrate with your mothers, grandmothers, or your best friends and the person you always turn to when you need advice.

xiaoli-mothering

Mother’s Day is also a great time to show your love for all the other wonderful women in your life.

Yes, Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.

However in a relationship with a man, if you have too much mothering energy, it will actually push your man away.

As women, we are natural caretakers. Nurturing is in our genes. When a woman loves a man, she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. Telling him how to handle a problem or what to do at work, constant reminders to watch his diet, commenting on everything he eats and how he should only eat food that is good for him, telling him how he should fold his clothes, reminding him that it has been many days since he made it to the gym to work out.

She forms a home-improvement community. She believes she is nurturing him. But he feels he is being controlled… or “mothered”. Most of the time, all he wants is her acceptance. (I know you want your man to eat healthily and stay physically fit so you both can live a long and healthy life together for many years. And, there are specific techniques to work together on improving each other. But “mothering” is not one of these techniques.)

When a woman tries to over-nurture or force a man to improve, he will feel that she is trying to “fix” him. He will unconsciously resist the effort. He will sometimes incorrectly interpret this message that he is not good enough or he is not measuring up to your expectations.

So DO NOT get into “mothering mode” and attempt to manage your man.

Much love,

PS; Want to learn more about dating & relationship wisdom? I invite you to head on over to my Facebook private group!

 

Who in your life needs this advice?

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