Beliefs are powerful things, especially when it comes to finding love.
Once upon a time, years ago, I was in rough shape, love wise. I had gone through two broken marriages and other failed relationships. These experiences caused me to develop the belief that there was something wrong with me, that I was somehow not loveable. When I talked to my mother about it, she wasn’t exactly helpful. She kept telling me that all of the good quality men around my age were either taken or were only interested in younger, prettier women. This advice caused me to add yet another belief that I was too old to find a good quality man.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, and in the bottom of mine, I was still yearning for a loving relationship and fulfilling companionship. So, despite these negative beliefs about myself and men, I kept dating, looking for my perfect match. No matter how hard I tried or how many people I would meet, it seemed like I would always run into same type of men: emotionally unavailable, unable to commit to relationship, or who preferred younger women. Now, don’t get me wrong, all of those men were all well-educated and intelligent. But in relationship department, boy, they all had some problems!
This is a perfect example of the power of beliefs. You see, I only found what I believed when I was dating. I believed that I was unlovable, that all men my age just wanted someone younger. And so, that is what I always found. My dating pattern was repeating… until I discovered the concept of “limiting beliefs” and how they can shape our reality. We form our ‘limiting beliefs” based on our own life experience or influence from people around us, like my mother. We hold these limiting beliefs tightly, believing that they are the truth. And as the Law of Attraction states, “like attracts like”. Your life will unfold the exact way that you “believe” it will. If you believe that you are unlovable, you will act in ways that confirm and reinforce that belief.
It was only after I finally liberated myself from my limiting beliefs that I met my soulmate, Jim. Jim is handsome, intelligent, caring, and gentle. He treasures me and spoils me. He is everything I was looking for and, contrary to my limiting belief about men only wanting much younger women, he is only one year older than me.
So, if you are on the journey to look for true love, but feel frustrated and disappointed, take some time to think about any limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Often times, limiting beliefs are unconscious. Perhaps you don’t know how to tell the difference between your limiting beliefs and reality. This is just one of the reasons why having a professional coach is so important. An experienced coach can help guide you to change your circumstances and bring you closer to your goal of finding true love. In my personal and professional experience, I can tell you with certainty that it is possible to get rid of our limiting beliefs and adopt better, healthier beliefs that will bring about huge improvements in our lives.
If you feel stuck, not progressing on your journey to love, book a session with me and let me help you to explore your limiting beliefs to discover how they might be holding you back.
Find the True Love You Deserve and schedule a session a complimentary session today!
Xiaoli Mei is a Certified Life Coach, known as the Happiness In Love™ Coach for helping professional Asian women discover true love and find a healthy balance between their happy relationships and busy careers. After immigrating to America from China in the early 90s, she establishing a successful career but still found herself feeling miserable, empty, lonely, confused, and sad. Having experienced two failed marriages and other broken relationships, she knew there had to be a way to balance a successful career AND have a fulfilling relationship. She eventually cracked the ‘Happiness Code’ and discovered what it takes for Asian career women to find lasting happiness and love in the Western world. Today, Xiaoli lives happily with her life partner and guides her clients to find a balance in their career and love life, helping them attain joy and harmony in their lives without sacrificing one important life aspiration over another.